I WANT CANDY!

Will your kid get sent to the principal's office for eating a Tootsie Roll or some M&M's?

Will multiple offenses lead to suspension or expulsion?

The answer is yes if the Obama administration has its way.

Now before you anonymous Libs start leaving your nasty comments, just hold your horses for a second.

I'm not advocating that kids should eat an over-abundance of sweets!

But for God's sake, let our kids be kids!

Sure more and more kids are obese these days, but is it because of what they get out of a vending machine at school?

I say no.

If the Obama administration really wants kids to slim down, here's what should be outlawed:


• Xbox 360
• Nintendo Wii
• Playstation 3
• Nintendo DS
• Movie DVDs
• Flat-screen TVs
• And anything else that encourages kids to sit on their asses playing video games and watching mindless crap on television instead of going outside to play.





I say push your kids out into the sunshine, give them a Snickers bar and show them how to play tag, flag football, cops and robbers, cowboys and indians, and other fun, healthy and high-energy games.

Oh, dear -- I think I just heard the sound of 10,000 Libs stroking out over the idea of such horrible activities that promote violence, racism and non-gender-specific role-playing.

Sorry, Libs. I'll try to do better.

I'LL DO IT FOR JUST $15 MILLION

What could you do with $18 million?

That's how much President Barack Hussein Obama's administration is spending to redo stimulus information on the recovery.gov website.

Ironically, the website's aim is to inform taxpayers about how their money is being wasted, I mean spent.

Here's my alternative solution, in case President Obama is listening: You could pay a couple of techie 20-somethings a couple of thousand bucks to do the job!

The nation is buckling under the over-zealous spending of Obama's regime.

O'Bummer forced $578,000 in stimulus funding on Union, New York, which didn't ask for it and doesn't want it. But they have to spend it on their homeless problem.

Here's the trick, though: Union, New York doesn't have a homeless problem.

Apparently government waste gone wild is contagious, because it's happening at all levels.

Take L.A., for example. Mayor Tony VivaLaRaza's people spent $48,826 for sandwiches eaten by cops on the day of Michael Jackson's taxpayer-funded memorial. The food was purchased from a deli 80 miles from Los Angeles, in the town of Wrightwood way up in the San Bernardino Mountains. (By the way, the newly-elected City Attorney is kickin' ass and takin' names on this one!)

In New York City, hundreds of felonious, non-working teachers are being paid their full salaries to "sit around all day playing Scrabble, surf the Internet or just stare at the wall" (AP) because the teacher's union is so powerful that they can't be fired even though they have committed crimes in the classroom.

Not to mention the billions upon billions upon billions of taxpayer dollars that bail out banks and rescue deadbeat homeowners.

We're being nickled and dimed to death.

TAXPAYERS WILL PAY FOR JACK-O'S MEMORIAL

Mayor Antonio VivaLaRaza is sticking it to Los Angeles taxpayers again!

This time he’s telling taxpayers that they’ll have to foot the $4 million bill for police services and other personnel costs in connection with the Michael Jackson memorial service yesterday, including extra security inside and around the perimeter of the Staples Center, closure of roads for the Jackson family motorcade, and much more.

Are you kidding me, Tony?

It was a private event, for God's sake!

City services associated with a privately planned event are always paid for by the promoter.

But not in this case, apparently.



I don’t care if Jack-O was the King of Pop or the King of Pedophilia or the King of Kings – the taxpayers shouldn’t have to foot the bill for the overwrought, over-the-top memorial spectacle yesterday.



Ah, but wait just a moment. . .

. . .Mayor VivaLaRaza is offering an alternative to taxpayers:

Make a donation to the City of Los Angeles to help offset the costs!

When the Lakers wanted their victory parade after the NBA championship, VivaLaRaza was at first going to let the City coffers foot the bill, but he finally buckled under tremendous pressure from taxpayers and the media, and instead appealed to the Lakers organization to pay for the parade themselves.

And they did.

What’s so different with the Jack-O spectacle?

Seems to me the family should pay for part of it and the Staples Center people should pay for part of it – after all, it’s the Staples Center that put out the “y’all come.”

Call me crazy.

STUART SMALLEY WAS SWORN IN TODAY

Poor guy.

Most news organizations bailed because they were all covering the pedophile-athon, I mean the Michael Jackson memorial.

Yes, it’s official: Al Franken was sworn in today.

That’s Senator Franken to you.

Remember when the Libs kept saying that under George W. Bush’s helm, the U.S. was becoming the laughing stock of the world?

Well, the joke’s on them.

Actually, the joke may be on all of us: He told the Associated Press during an interview that he would like to serve as the “people’s proxy” on the committee that will conduct the confirmation hearings on U.S. Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor.

Mark my words: He’ll use his celebrity status, loud mouth and commie politics to move Senate Democrats even farther to the left than they already are.

IT'S MONDAY -- LET'S LAUGH AT LIBS!

If you listen to the Libs, Planet Earth is going to hell in a handbasket!

This whole Global Warming versus Climate Change debate is enough to make anybody sad, isn't it?


According to the Sierra Club, the very worst example of Global Warming, I mean Climate Change, I mean Global Warming, I mean Climate Change, I mean Global Warming, I mean Climate Change...

...is Alaska!


So if you're depressed about the future of America's 49th state, here are three little ways for you to turn that frown upside down.

And I quote:

Reason #1: The House of Representatives passed the first-ever climate bill last week. ACES (The American Clean Energy and Security Act), also known as Waxman-Markey, marks the first time that Congress has taken on climate change, which is kind of a big deal. Granted, the bill is far from perfect, and it still has a long way to go before it’s signed into law, but it’s a HUGE step forward in the fight against climate change, and it should provide Alaska with at least a smidgen of optimism.

Reason #2: Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa announced in his 2nd inaugural address on Wednesday that he wants the Department of Water and Power to “eliminate the use of coal by 2020.” Yes, you read that correctly. The mayor of the nation’s most polluted city is making a promise to permanently cut ties with the coal industry within the next decade. Can you say “hallelujah!”? I know Alaska is.

Reason #3: Our wonderful country is turning 233 on Saturday. Birthdays are always a cause for celebration, and the birth of a nation is certainly no exception. The best part about this particular birthday is that it falls on a Saturday, which means a 3-day weekend for many of us, or, at the very least, a good excuse to stay up late watching fireworks. I’m all about BBQs and pyrotechnic spectaculars, but I feel obligated to remind you to observe the holiday by exercising your freedom to celebrate in a sustainable fashion that will cause the least amount of damage as possible to poor Alaska. Check out greenzer.com’s Guide to Green Independence Day and the Sierra Club's resources for celebrating greater energy independece for some excellent suggestions on how to reduce the carbon footprint of your 4th of July shindig from a carbon stomp to a carbon tip-toe.

YOUR INDEPENDENCE DAY CHALLENGE

As difficult as it is for Libs to believe, I hold this truth to be self-evident: Independence Day is worth celebrating.



It's the anniversary of the formal adoption of the Declaration of Independence, written and signed by our forefathers.

They knew that their decision to do this would put their lives, their loved ones and their futures at risk.

This document told England, and the world, that the United States of America would be a nation governed not by a king, but by its own citizens.

This was big.

And now, 233 years later, our still-young nation celebrates its independence with everything from large-scale events to backyard barbecues.

Here's my wish for this Fourth of July: I want everybody to be ensured that it's really, really OK to celebrate.

Ours is not a perfect country, but it certainly is the greatest nation in the world.

Now before you Libs get your knickers in a twist over that statement, I have a three-part challenge for you.

I swear to God it'll be OK.

You can still publicly trash this great country and bask in the glow of President Barack Hussein Obama.



So here's the challenge:

(1) In the quiet of your thoughts, without anybody else knowing, ask yourself, in all seriousness, "Why am I proud to be an American?" and then list the reasons. Really think this one through. Like I said, it'll be OK.

(2) Ask yourself, "What does freedom mean to me?" And then logically and carefully think this one through as well.

(3) Say a silent "thank you" to the men and women who have given their time and treasure and lives over the past 200+ years so that you can enjoy those freedoms.

You can go back to your normal behaviors on July 5. But on Independence Day, in this greatest country on God's green earth, do the right thing.

From me and my family to you and yours, have a great Fourth of July, and God Bless America.

BUSTED!

Here's a shout-out to South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, once considered a rising star in the GOP.

He has proven himself to be nothing more than another scummy politician.

His so-called conservative values were a sham!

This married father of four went AWOL for a chick.

In another country.

On another continent.

And charged the taxpayers for the trip.

He's already being punished by his wife, who had the self-esteem and good sense to NOT stand by her man at the press conference and, in fact, had kicked him out already.

He'll endure far worse punishment from D.C. and his SC constituents.

Hey, if I went AWOL from my job, I wouldn't have one to come back to, period.

So here we go again, with the GOP trying very hard to steer itself back to a Reagan-style revolution, while elected officials are pulling this immoral and irresponsible crap.

Note to all Republicans and conservatives: It's time to set the standard and lead the way, people!

Character, morality and actions matter whether you like it or not.